Assumptions & Why I Hate Them

Because usually they're wrong

Like when you overhear a phone conversation your roommate is having and, say, here something about a party, so you automatically assume your roommate is having this party at your house, and you hear all this while you are in bed.

GUESS WHAT, YOU WERE WRONG.

The roommate is not throwing a party, he's going to one. And not right now, and no one is meeting up at the house to travel together.

SO WHEN YOU ASSUME THIS, BITCH ABOUT IT ON FACEBOOK, AND GET SYMPATHY FROM PEOPLE, YOU ARE NOT ONLY IN THE WRONG, YOU ARE BEING STUPID AND MAKING AN ASS OF YOURSELF.

I ONLY WISH YOU GAVE A SHIT

but no.

YOU are more concerned with being right

and having people on your side

because then you feel justified

even though you aren't

EVEN your PARENTS have washed their hands of your bullshit. You did it to them first, others later, and now me.

Yes this was a specific rant about a specific person and yes I am in fact in a specifically irritated fucking mood and once again I am reminded

WHY I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE.

/endrant

This is What I'm Going Through

Once again I've reached my breaking point.

Here I am

again

With my life crashing down around my ears...

I hate this. Every day I have to endure hours of worry and sickness, every night I have to fight to hold back the tears and struggle to sleep. I'm sick of the constant fight to keep the tears from falling because I know not what else to do. I am literally at a loss for what to do...again.

One roommate is leaving in the next week or so. We MIGHT have someone to fill her room come July.

The other roommate, whose name is on the lease with mine, has decided she is leaving in August. Wonder if she plans on telling the landlord. Regardless, I'm telling him. Why? Isn't that a dick move? EVERYTHING this roommate does has turned into just a bunch of bullshit and dick moves. So she will deal. Especially if she tries to leave and refuses to help me refill the heating oil tank. Cos that would be complete bullshit. I'm hoping that her ditching out on me will give our landlord enough reason to let me out of the lease too, because I dont know if we can fill her room and still make rent and all that shit....

I make $700 every two weeks nannying. In that two weeks, i kill at least $200 in gas alone. Around $140 in cigarettes. That leaves me with $360. So I'm running on roughly $720 a month. Lets lose some of that for sake of variation. $700 a month. Minus $250 for rent. $450 a month. Minus about $100 (average for our monthly utilities). $350. Minus $85 phone bill. $265 left. Then I spend money on food, drinks, snacks, etc etc. Did I mention I have one payment left on my collections nonsense. $101+change. And now I know where most my money goes and why I'm constantly freaking out.

I won't even try to include the money I make from dancing. On average I leave with like $20-40, and that doesnt go far when I still am paying off my license loan and just had to buy new fucking dancer's shoes cos mine fucking broke. >:(

So yeah. And I spend more in gas now because I'm constantly avoiding my own home to stay away from the people in it. I can't handle them outside the club. I can't handle anything. I feel bad for my dog who I now barely see and I miss her. I think I will start bringing her to my nannying job, especially since the kids are almost out of school.

And I can't afford to pick Kitty up from Job Corps.

I haven't told her yet,

I don't want to face this truth yet myself.

Fuck this noise, fuck this place, fuck this bullshit, I can't take it anymore and I don't know what the FUCK I am supposed to do about ANYTHING ANYMORE.

FUCKING NONSENSE

Buhhh I'm so sick of this shit >.<

And this is the only place left I can complain about anything. The sanctity I once had in blogging is now gone on tumblr... guhhh whatever. Cant find this shit so I can bitch alllll I wantttt.

I just don't know how to handle anything anymore. I can't avoid my house forever...well, yeah I can. But I don't like it.

End of story, two things that need to happen:

1)GTFO

2)GTFU (Grow the fuck up)

End of story. Jesus I thought I was the childish irresponsible one. Maybe I still am. But if I am then all these other people are swaggerjackin'. For realz xD

I just wish that for once in my goddamn life there was a simple solution.

Just once?

Please?

No?

Fine. Fuck you too.

It seems like I cant do a fuckin thing right, ever. Or when a few things go right, a dozen go wrong. Buh, and you wonder why people fucking off themselves....

Guess what motherfuckers?

It's NOT ok. And it WON'T fucking get better!

End of this goddamn twisted ass story

/endrant

Restarting this blogging bullshit

because I've run out of safe places to vent again...

I'm just sick of the shit. Sick of having people force their issues on me like it's really my goddamn problem.

Newsflash homie:

He's my fiance not my child, he is 19 he is an adult, or adult enough for you to fucking talk to him about whatever your goddamn problem is as opposed to blatantly pulling me away to bitch about him behind his back, again,

LIKE IT'S MY FUCKING JOB TO FIX IT.

Guess what? It's your fucking problem. You want it fixed fix it your damn self. He isn't fucking leaving anytime soon so either figure this shit out or you can leave. Simple as that.

Too bad i dont have the balls i'd need to say any of this to either of you. Especially since one you really just needs to get high fived in the face with a chair.

YES HE MEANS EVERYTHING HE SAYS. HE'S TOTALLY A NAIVE RACIST DOUCHECANOE WITH NO RESPECT FOR ANYONE.

you're fucking kidding me, right?

RIGHT?!

Oh, no? You seriously think he is racist and has no respect for anyone just because he offends YOU?

Well someone's a little self-righteous and self-important now aren't they....

AND YOU?

I dont even understand what the fuck your problem is besides a fucking attitude problem on YOUR behalf. Ahhh shiiiit nukka all of a sudden he has a job and you dont have a reason to complain anymore...but someone else wants to complain so you make up bullshit reasons to be angry and take sides and all of a sudden you guys are right and he is wrong and...for the millionth time... you come to me like its my problem to fix.

Guess what? before your bullshit i didnt HAVE a motherfucking problem!

Now i have a problem... YOU TWO. How's that for ya? You like that? That's what happens when you ATTACK someone (me) because you are too prissy and holier-than-thou to bite the bullet and address the person involved over an issue you've decided is just 8 million times more intense than it ever is or was.

Cool, you dont like being home cos of him? Well guess what now I am trying to avoid both of you. How's that feel? Hmmm? I got something else for you...i kinda already mentioned it but in case you forgot

NONE OF THIS IS MY GODDAMN PROBLEM. i know misery loves company--yeah, cos you are SO miserable--but i refuse to be privvy to you two being bullies and needing someone to fucking pick on.

/end rant

Yes im still angry, but this is all i need to do for today.