Assumptions & Why I Hate Them

Because usually they're wrong

Like when you overhear a phone conversation your roommate is having and, say, here something about a party, so you automatically assume your roommate is having this party at your house, and you hear all this while you are in bed.

GUESS WHAT, YOU WERE WRONG.

The roommate is not throwing a party, he's going to one. And not right now, and no one is meeting up at the house to travel together.

SO WHEN YOU ASSUME THIS, BITCH ABOUT IT ON FACEBOOK, AND GET SYMPATHY FROM PEOPLE, YOU ARE NOT ONLY IN THE WRONG, YOU ARE BEING STUPID AND MAKING AN ASS OF YOURSELF.

I ONLY WISH YOU GAVE A SHIT

but no.

YOU are more concerned with being right

and having people on your side

because then you feel justified

even though you aren't

EVEN your PARENTS have washed their hands of your bullshit. You did it to them first, others later, and now me.

Yes this was a specific rant about a specific person and yes I am in fact in a specifically irritated fucking mood and once again I am reminded

WHY I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE.

/endrant

This is What I'm Going Through

Once again I've reached my breaking point.

Here I am

again

With my life crashing down around my ears...

I hate this. Every day I have to endure hours of worry and sickness, every night I have to fight to hold back the tears and struggle to sleep. I'm sick of the constant fight to keep the tears from falling because I know not what else to do. I am literally at a loss for what to do...again.

One roommate is leaving in the next week or so. We MIGHT have someone to fill her room come July.

The other roommate, whose name is on the lease with mine, has decided she is leaving in August. Wonder if she plans on telling the landlord. Regardless, I'm telling him. Why? Isn't that a dick move? EVERYTHING this roommate does has turned into just a bunch of bullshit and dick moves. So she will deal. Especially if she tries to leave and refuses to help me refill the heating oil tank. Cos that would be complete bullshit. I'm hoping that her ditching out on me will give our landlord enough reason to let me out of the lease too, because I dont know if we can fill her room and still make rent and all that shit....

I make $700 every two weeks nannying. In that two weeks, i kill at least $200 in gas alone. Around $140 in cigarettes. That leaves me with $360. So I'm running on roughly $720 a month. Lets lose some of that for sake of variation. $700 a month. Minus $250 for rent. $450 a month. Minus about $100 (average for our monthly utilities). $350. Minus $85 phone bill. $265 left. Then I spend money on food, drinks, snacks, etc etc. Did I mention I have one payment left on my collections nonsense. $101+change. And now I know where most my money goes and why I'm constantly freaking out.

I won't even try to include the money I make from dancing. On average I leave with like $20-40, and that doesnt go far when I still am paying off my license loan and just had to buy new fucking dancer's shoes cos mine fucking broke. >:(

So yeah. And I spend more in gas now because I'm constantly avoiding my own home to stay away from the people in it. I can't handle them outside the club. I can't handle anything. I feel bad for my dog who I now barely see and I miss her. I think I will start bringing her to my nannying job, especially since the kids are almost out of school.

And I can't afford to pick Kitty up from Job Corps.

I haven't told her yet,

I don't want to face this truth yet myself.

Fuck this noise, fuck this place, fuck this bullshit, I can't take it anymore and I don't know what the FUCK I am supposed to do about ANYTHING ANYMORE.

FUCKING NONSENSE

Buhhh I'm so sick of this shit >.<

And this is the only place left I can complain about anything. The sanctity I once had in blogging is now gone on tumblr... guhhh whatever. Cant find this shit so I can bitch alllll I wantttt.

I just don't know how to handle anything anymore. I can't avoid my house forever...well, yeah I can. But I don't like it.

End of story, two things that need to happen:

1)GTFO

2)GTFU (Grow the fuck up)

End of story. Jesus I thought I was the childish irresponsible one. Maybe I still am. But if I am then all these other people are swaggerjackin'. For realz xD

I just wish that for once in my goddamn life there was a simple solution.

Just once?

Please?

No?

Fine. Fuck you too.

It seems like I cant do a fuckin thing right, ever. Or when a few things go right, a dozen go wrong. Buh, and you wonder why people fucking off themselves....

Guess what motherfuckers?

It's NOT ok. And it WON'T fucking get better!

End of this goddamn twisted ass story

/endrant